Many more than half of the marriages in the United States will finish in divorce. Divorce numbers in many of the other developed nations are almost as high. It looks like that we are living in a society that believes in throw-away relationships.  Despite the conventional marriage vows most people make, most of which include the line, “until death do us part,” marriage has become just a casual relationship in many segments of society.  In particular, individuals in the public eye, such as entertainers, movie and television stars, and skilled athletes, have overly high divorce rates. 

Additionally, in the U.S., policemen have a very high divorce ratio, one of the highest of any line of work. The causes are many: it’s a unsafe profession, the uniform, badge, gun and authority attract the opposite sex like a magnet, and dealing with the unfavorable side of human nature makes a policeman cynical.  Near to fifty percent of first marriages in the U.S. culminate in divorce and the quantities are nearly  as critical in Russia, the UK, Denmark, New Zealand, Australia and Canada. And nearly two-thirds of second marriages end , while almost three-quarters of third marriages perish.  What ever happened to the vows taken in the marriage celebration? Why are persons divorcing rather than resolving their differences? 

The paucity of greatness individuals  place in marriage is evidenced by the number of couples who elect not to marry, but rather live together in “civil unions,” while still the pick to have children. Within the underprivileged it is not strange for a woman to have one or two children by different fathers.  The breakup of the family as the center of domestic life is an essential piece of the concern of the lack of dedication to marriage. It is also the outcome of this lack of purpose.  The trend away from religious conformity has also contributed to many people not taking their marriage vows solemnly. Their dearth of trust in a deity implies that the vows they undertake “before God and man” have no material meaning in their minds. 

Fortunately, divorce amongst couples with children is close to forty percent less than that among couples with no children. But also within that smaller amount, what sense does it impart to the children of these damaged marriages that it is okay to separate and divorce? What sort of loyalty can we look forward to from the children of divorced parents?  More than one-third of children come from broken homes and the normal age for a first divorce is close to  thirty years old, the typical age when many people have children.

Thus, many children are raised in single parent-households during their shapable years, a time when they require both male and female parental influences.  The divorce proportion and the apparent deficiency  of esteem for marriage vows is a grim analysis on the stage of our modern society. If marriage is no more a permanent act between two people who are (or should be) making a lifelong allegiance, then why marry at all? 

We might go back to a ill-bred societal framework like the one among chimpanzees, where indiscriminate male-female commitments are the norm and promiscuity is universal. Females in estrus mate with any male who shows his desire for them, usually all the adult males.  This causes the paternity of these babies to be so in doubtful that all the males act like all the young ones are their offspring. But at least the male chimps show some responsibility, unlike their human cousins. 

Here’s one number that is telling: Among couples with significant religious beliefs and practices, the esteem for marriage vows is clearly higher and divorce is much less common. A regard for their belief provides greater substance to the promise they made in the eyes of their God.  Working at a marriage is more challenging than treating it as a casual relationship and only approximately half the couples in a marriage are willing to succeed at it.   

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