All of us guys love women, but their are just a few types that we find extra special when we are out drinking. These are the ones we love:

The Drunk Chick

But You Have to Watch Out For: The Responsible Chick

This girl can be heard from anywhere in the bar. “Yee-Haw!” Let’s do shots!”… Now what happens next is very important as to what level drunk girl you are dealing with. If it’s, ‘Give me 3 Shots of Wild Turkey! Yeehaw!’ She is a pro, and you better be ready for anything. She’ll be fun but if you don’t look out you’ll be woken up in the drunk tank next to Deisel reeling because you a tat of I Heart Donna on your arm. Now If your drunk girl screams ‘A Round of Purple Hooter Shooters!’ Your not totally safe, but its a little less stressful. She’s a lot of fun but thats why “The Responsible One” will be on guard. Having a very talented wingman available will come in handy here.

The Cougar

But You Have to Watch Out For: The Old Overweight Flirt

She will be smoking.  Literally and physically. This cougar is not bashful and she couldn’t care less who knows it.  Tonight the tigress is on the prowl. No need for the pickup lines, your offensive t shirts are not going to offend her, she likes the shocker on your t-shirt. A friend who will get with anything will be a key benefit going into this because inevitably “The Old Fat Flirt” will accompany the cougar.

The Dimepiece

But You Have to Watch Out For: The Bitch

The only problem with this is… The Dimepeice is usually “The Bitch”.  But you can’t get mad at her, if you figure it out and think that she has been hollered at no less than 15 times per day since she was 13, and were lookin at 10′s of thousands of “Hey Baby, are you O.K.? Because heaven is a long fall from here.” But when your game is tight and your look is just right, you might just just be successful enough to her those 4 little words. “I have a husband”

The Butterface

But You Have to Watch Out For: Your Friends

You step in to the bar and do a quick tally of the available chicks. Her, not her, maybe her, hell no, her in a heart beat, and then… not with my worst enemies penis.  But as the booze and shots go down, that tally starts to get fuzzy… your brain and eyes some how become your worst enemy and then slowly that land beast in a shirt turns into the ‘possibly’ that you crossed off earlier. She is ready and willing. She laughs at your crappy jokes, she likes your funny t-shirts.  Your boys have takin off because they are hurting from laughing at her.  But she needs love and your willing to chew your limb off in the morning.

Filed under: Humor

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